I am not a psychologist, teacher, counsellor or expert, but sexual purity has always been something I care about deeply.
Over the years I have worked with high school girls on sexual purity and have also spoken with engaged couples about intimacy and sex. After my first child was born, I resigned from my full time risk analyst job and also spent time raising awareness about human trafficking. That made me look more closely at the deep pain and brokenness surrounding sex in our world. I began asking how people reach such extremes, where others are exploited in an attempt to find sexual fulfilment.
What became clear to me is that there are many grey areas between the two opposites of purity and exploitation. One of the major grey areas is pornography. It is often treated as almost normal, especially for men, but I believe it must be brought into the light and seen for what it truly is. I feel called to speak about these grey areas so that we do not ignore them or quietly accept them. I believe that a child’s understanding of sex, their body and purity does not simply form in a healthy way on its own. It is shaped by what they hear, what they see and also by what is never said.
My passion is to encourage young people to walk a path of purity without compromise. Along with that comes an awareness of the dangers of pornography, dangers that a boy or a girl may not necessarily understand when they are exposed to it at first. I approach this from a long-term perspective: how do we help a child form a beautiful, healthy and God-centred understanding of sexuality?
For me, it begins with the parent. We cannot one day speak meaningfully to our children about pornography, or help protect them from it, if we cannot speak to them about sex at all. These conversations are building blocks for their sexuality. I like to explain it simply: sexuality asks, how do I see my body, how do I see your body, and how do I see the relationship between the two? Purity is when that picture is aligned with God’s plan.
I have also seen how adults’ fears, shame and ideas about sex often began with what they heard, saw, or did not hear and see in their homes growing up. That is why I believe the work parents do is incredibly important. It is not only about safety today. It is also about the healthy picture a child may one day carry into a marriage or relationship.
By profession I am a data analyst, so I enjoy taking in information, processing it and noticing patterns. I have read books, completed courses and tried not to rely on only one person’s opinion. This ministry grew out of my own search for information. Other parents began asking me to share it with them, and I realised there was a great need for help with these conversations. Becoming is all about finding our true identity, and especially in terms of our sexuality.